Heart Eyes (2025) is labeled as a romantic comedy slasher and is the only horror marketed for Valentine’s Day this year. Our subject had no plans for the special occasion so she lovingly accepted our challenge. Find out if our sweetheart fell in love with this unique thriller or if the mashup broke her heart.
SYNOPSIS:
For the past several years, the “Heart Eyes Killer” has wreaked havoc on Valentine’s Day by stalking and murdering romantic couples. This Valentine’s Day, no couple is safe.
Where to Watch: In Theaters
Test Subject: Leah
Age: 45
Gender: Female
Fears: Haphephobia or fear of being touched
Resting HR: 60-65bpm
Walking HR: 80-85bpm
ANALYSIS:
Heart Eyes (2025) started off by not taking itself too seriously with a fun soundtrack and over-the-top acting. Our subject giggled thinking she was in for a light-hearted Hallmark type of movie. But the laughter quickly faded at the five minute mark when an extremely gory scene caused her to avert her eyes. A two minute chase soon followed, keeping our subject on the edge of her seat. As the film introduced possible suspects, the action scenes slowed to a crawl. This provided time for our subject’s heart to relax, especially during an uncomfortably long dinner scene. Somewhere around the thirty minute mark we recorded 62bpm which is below her resting average. It wasn’t until 43:00 that we saw another gruesome kill and the comedy got back on track which lifted her pulse to 84bpm. But it was short lived as the violent activity dropped once again. Not until the one hour mark did the deaths finally start to stack. This kept her heart rate escalating until she hit her peak 90bpm during a blood bath of horror. The finale provided a fun twist but all of her squirming had ceased and our subject relaxed while she watched the conclusion.
CONCLUSION:
Heart Eyes (2025) is humorous and clever slasher that loses it’s heart halfway through the film. There is fabulous gore throughout but the lengthy dialogue scenes prevented our subject’s heart rate from climbing to terrifyingly high levels. Marketed as a romantic comedy slasher, the film took itself too seriously for us to truly care about the scares.
Check out some of our past Valentine’s day heart racing horror results below!
Heart Eyes (2025): Burns an average of 193 Calories
Chocolate Heart: 150 Calories
How many Fear Calories did you burn watching Heart Eyes (2025) ? Let us know in the comments below or on Instagram, and Facebook
