This week it’s time to relax and slip into a cozy pair of killer jeans with Slaxx (2019). Our subject who suffers from a fear of fashion believes there’s a slim chance this designer horror flick can make her heart race. Find out if she burned enough calories to drop a pant size.

SYNOPSIS:

When a possessed pair of jeans begins to kill the staff of a trendy clothing store, it is up to Libby, an idealistic young salesclerk, to stop its bloody rampage.

Where to Watch:

• Shudder Subscription

Test Subject: Leah

Age:38

Gender: Female

Fears: Vestiphobia (Fear of Fashion)

Resting HR: 60-65bpm

Walking HR: 80-85bpm

ANALYSIS:

Our subject couldn’t help but snicker as the film began, feeling slightly ashamed for watching a movie about killer pants. But an 80’s pop soundtrack soon lightened the mood and she appeared to be entertained. Then came crunching and cracking sound effects at 15:00 that had our subject cringing. Her pulse quickened, raising her heart rate to 72bpm, just above her resting average. Suspenseful scenes came and went too quickly without being able to build momentum. Luckily at 33:00, a fast combo of gagging and laughter produced her highest spike of 80bpm. Unfortunately, halfway through, the film’s tone shifted and failed to keep this impressive heart rate elevated. Even some nightmarish images were unable to stress her out. Our subject continued to enjoy the movie but the tension diminished. Also, she began to root for the pants which completely flatlined the scares.

CONCLUSION:

Slaxx is an amusingly gory movie about...well, pants. Laughs combined with the occasional uncomfortable cringe made for a fun watch but it only registered a couple blips from our heart rate monitor. Share on XThe few killer scenes were too quick to build true fear but giggles helped pad the results. If a person needs to lose about ten pounds in order to drop a pant size then our weight conscious subject would need to watch Slaxx once a day for the next year. And judging by her reaction after our session, she might be okay with that.

Slaxx: Burns an average of 96 Calories

Cotton Candy: 220 Calories

How many Fear Calories did you burn watching Slaxx? Let us know in the comments below or on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook