ThanksKilling (2009) was a must monitor on our list this holiday season. The title alone sets us up for what surely would be a hellish ride into one of our favorite traditional dinners… right? Was this this film scary enough to raise our subject’s heart rate or did it end up a turkey in the horror genre?

Test Subject: Jax

Age : 35

Gender: Female

Fears: Camping, Squirrels

Resting HR: 60-65 bpm

Walking HR: 75-80 bpm

ANALYSIS:

In a FearScale first, our subject’s numbers dipped below the 60bpm baseline within the first ten minutes. But before we pronounced her dead on arrival she had a blip of life at the nineteen minute mark as the turkey did some hunting of its own. Jax’s heart rate didn’t break any records but it did reach a respectable peak 81bpm which came at the climax of her favorite scene (literally).

Note: Our subjects heart rate was affected by laughter and uncomfortable jostling in her seat from this outrageous scene. Scares did not play a major role in these elevated numbers.

CONCLUSION:

As intended by the filmmakers, comedy rather than horror wins out in this low budget holiday gore fest. While our subjects numbers were some of the lowest ever recorded, the laughs kept her average from getting lost in the cranberry sauce. This movie isn’t scary, but what it lacks in scares it delivers in raw fowl-mouthed fun. Unfortunately you would have to watch this film over thirty-six times to even come close to burning off your Thanksgiving dinner this year. Gobble Gobble Mother F*!@!

ThanksKilling: Burns 80 calories

Thanksgiving Dinner: 3,000 Calories

How many Fear Calories did you burn watching ThanksKilling? Let us know in the comments below or on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook